


How it is and how it should have been

by Gio_hannigram



Category: Hannibal (TV), Murder Husbands - Fandom, hannigram - Fandom
Genre: After the Fall, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Maybe - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-01-25
Packaged: 2018-05-16 07:01:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5818708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gio_hannigram/pseuds/Gio_hannigram
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“He is dead”</p>
<p>He had just woken up, and those were the first words he heard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How it is and how it should have been

“He is dead”

Will had just woken up, and those were the first words he heard.

Hannibal was gone.

He lay down there, hurting with all his wounds and his mind half frozen because they were telling him that Hannibal was gone.

“Are you sure?” He whispered trying not to sound desperate at a smiling Jack.

“Yes, we are sure, we saw him” Will nodded and tried to not show anything of what he was showing to Jack, he knew Jack may be trying to see if it affected him and in which way. Will just closed his eyes and tried to keep his voice as normal as he could.

“I need to sleep Jack”

“I know Will, good job” He said and gave him a palm on the arm. He waited until the door close to breath deep and to let his tears fall.

Hannibal couldn´t be dead, he was _Hannibal_. And what the hell had happened?

They had a plan, they were supposed to be on their way to Argentina, he was supposed to be sitting next to Hannibal somewhere watching him tend to his wounds not here on a hospital bed crying and feeling his whole body ache and hurt because Jack Crawford just told him that Hannibal Lecter is dead.

“It is not true, he must be lying” Will told himself over and over. “Until I see him myself, it is not true”

He knew he had to pretend not to feel as broken as he felt, he knew Jack was looking him closely, even when he kept saying how much of a good job Will had done.

“How are you feeling?” Alana asked him and he didn´t know what to answer other that “Fine”.

Things got worse when she started to talk about how everything would be better, how everything could be alright now. Ignoring how Will felt empty the more he heard her talk about how this world was better without Hannibal Lecter on it.

Will was holding as much as he could but he was breaking, he needed to see.

He begged Alana to talk to Jack, to tell him how much Will needed to see Hannibal´s corpse. He told her that it was so he could be reassured, he knew he needed to see so he would believe because he couldn´t accept that he was gone.

But he refused, saying that he needed to rest.

When the doctor cleared him, the first thing he asked was to see him. Alana seemed to think he was in the right, for complete different reasons.

“I know you won´t sleep in peace until you see it for yourself that he can´t do anything anymore, I know I now can have a better sleep thanks to that” Alana commented in front of Jack who finally gave in.

He was in front of the door, he had asked Jack to let him alone, and Alana had dragged him away. He was there alone, a door away from breaking completely. Not yet understanding what went wrong, they had a plan. What happened?

Taking a deep breath Will opened the door.

“Oh god” He supported himself on the gurney. There he was. Pale like Will had never seen him, with some parts purple, his lips were almost black. Will had to hold himself from throwing up.

He started crying, he didn´t know it would affect him like that. Maybe it was because they were supposed to be alive, the both of them were supposed to be together somewhere else. He was supposed to be with Hannibal.

The same thought give rounds on his mind, he didn´t want this, he didn´t _want_ Hannibal dead.

And now there was Jack waiting for him, his whole life, the life he already had made his mind to forget about, the life he wasn´t supposed to go back to, the life he didn´t _want_ anymore.

“I can´t, Hannibal please… _please_ I know you can´t be dead, please” Will closed his eyes an repeated over and over again while tears kept falling down his cheeks, his chest hurt, breathing was painful, and he concentrated on telling himself that when he opened his eyes Hannibal would be there, covered in blood telling him that all he ever wanted was right there, and they will be on a boat on their way to Argentina or wherever Hannibal had planned but here.

“I´m unconcensious because of the fall. Yes that is, we are still falling” Will whispered with his eyes closed tight. “Is just a nightmare, we are still falling”

He opened his eyes but nothing changed, Hannibal was still there, dead in front of him and Will wanted to scream and so he did but no sound came out.

Once he stopped, gripping the gurney he stared down at the immobile body.

“Wake up you asshole, you can´t leave me! not again, not now, not after what happened, what we did, what I became. YOU CAN´T DO THIS YOU SON OF A BITCH!” He screamed at the still corpse that once was Hannibal “You can´t leave, not now” Will whispered close to Hannibal´s ear.

“I can´t go back…I don´t want to…please Hannibal…please!” Will realized he was hugging one of the gurney´s legs, that he was a mess and that it was a miracle that Jack hadn´t rushed in when he screamed, he realized too that he couldn´t care less. He felt angry, he felt _furious._

 He was breathing hard, he did stand up trembling and stared at the body lying there, and he felt rage running through his veins.

 Jack started to call for him and he took one of the scalpels on the table beside Hannibal´s corpse and waited until Jack stopped yelling at him through the door and finally opened it.

He didn´t give him time, he just cut his throat with a fast and fluid movement as if he had done it a thousand times.

Alana who was behind Jack screamed and tried to run, Will just smiled at her from the door when she turned to look back at him. “You know Alana, this is really weird. I thought I would see him kill you, I thought that maybe I would ask him not to, now I know I wouldn´t have, because I would have helped him. We were supposed to see you off together”

“Will this is not you” Alana said as he got closer to her, she tried to open the door but she was stuck, just like Will wanted her.

“This is me”

“No you´re not the Will I know!”

“That´s because you didn´t see me, because you didn´t see me. He did. He knew, he understood and he accepted. You, I´ll have my fun watching the life go out of your eyes Alana”

“Will” she gasped as he gave her a smile.

“Will” He cut more deep and up to her chest “Will”

“Now you know how I feel” He told her as he cut up more.

“Will!” A hand shock him out of it, his eyes opened to stare at his hands, it was dark, he could feel the sweat rolling on his skin, the uncomfortable wetness of it, he was in a bed, and he knew the voice that kept calling for him.

“Will, breath deep, you are safe, you are here” Turning his face he stared at Hannibal with his hair being a mess, shirtless and concern showing on his eyes.

“Will?” Hannibal called again. With tears rolling down his eyes Will throw his arms on his shoulders and hugged him tight “Sorry, sorry I had a nightmare”

“I know” Hannibal whispered on his ear, caressing up and down his back “Breath Will, we are here, and you are safe”

“It´s not because I feel unsafe Hannibal, it was not about…” He leaned back a bit to gaze into Hannibal´s eyes, one of Hannibal´s hands kept caressing his back and the other was toying with his curls, Will relished the feeling, the moment.

“I dreamed that I lost you” He admitted with closed eyes.

“I´m here” Hannibal was staring at him with that expression that Will loved again, with his heart beating more steady, he let Hannibal lay him down, clinging to him. Trying to assure himself that this was real, this is how it was, they were together, and they were alright. They were alive.

 Will tried to let go enough for Hannibal to take one of their shirts on the ground and clean him.

“You could fall ill, we don´t want it, do we?” Hannibal asked with a small smile, leaning in to kiss him briefly on the lips.

“I love you” He admitted to Hannibal not for the first time.

“And I love you too Will” Hannibal said over him with a tender caress on his cheek before kissing him deep.

Will set to sleep again, lured by Hannibal´s breaths beside him, the rise and fall of his chest behind him, and the warm of the arm embracing him. He had the most peaceful sleep he ever had after that.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I felt in the mood for some angst today, but just couldn´t keep it up.
> 
> I´m sorry for the mistakes.  
> BTW
> 
> I need a beta if anyone has free time, knows of orthography, likes to read, can edit, and has patience to deal with a crappy writer.


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